


breathing

by Reishiin



Series: Invisible Cities [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reishiin/pseuds/Reishiin
Summary: Ryouga moves to Heartland City, starts a rock band, and goes to university.(Prequel to Invisible Cities)





	breathing

 

 

The day before Ryouga left for Heartland City, Shingetsu Rei knocked on his door and said that his mother wanted to see him.

Ryouga was twelve, and didn't know what to think. The Shingetsus lived five houses down from Ryouga, and kept to themselves; the husband was rarely home, the wife rarely left. Some say Shingetsu-san beat her, others that the bruises are from a blood disorder. Shingetsu Rei is one year younger than Ryouga, but they were in different sessions in school and had never properly met.

Ryouga was twelve, and didn't know what to think, so he asked mother's permission and then followed that boy to the house five down from his own. Rei opened the door and showed Ryouga into the living room where his mother sat on the couch. She looked up as he approached, but did not stand. Her face was lined, and she looked frail. "Ryouga-kun?"

"Shingetsu-san."

"Ryouga-kun, you're going to Heartland City, right?"

Ryouga nods. "Yes, I am."

"Rei will go too, a year from now. Please, while you are there, take care of him, will you?"

Ryouga nodded and said, "Yes, I will." He was twelve, and he didn't understand. All he had thought then was that this woman was entrusting him with something that seemed so precious, and he didn't even know her given name.

 

* * *

 

 

Ryouga doesn't dare to sleep on the long distance train for fear he'll miss his stop. He only has a small bag of things, his documents, and the clothes on his back; asking for directions he manages to find the house of the woman called Mirai ("call me Aunt Mirai"), who takes care of the Varian kids who are sent to Heartland City. She's no relation to any of them, except on paper where she is 'aunt by marriage', and if there are report slips or school forms to be signed, she's the one to go to.

In school, the other kids tiptoe around him, the way he says words, the way he writes. Ryouga asks Chitaro Ariga why, and Chitaro thinks for a while before saying, "You're different." He looks like he wants to say more, but then someone calls his name, and he runs off.

 

* * *

 

Shingetsu Rei arrives in Heartland City ten months later, and Aunt Mirai takes him to see Ryouga immediately. Ryouga has been camping out on the living room floor of two high schoolers, but now that there is someone who can stay with him, they can have their own one-room apartment in the building set aside for the Varian kids.

"I don't want him to be my brother. I don't like him," Ryouga says. It's uncomfortable, both because it's true, and because Ryouga very rarely dislikes someone on sight and he trusts his instincts. The boys at school have dirt on their knees and hands from playground tussles but Shingetsu Rei's clothes are too clean, he stands too still, his are eyes too sharp, like he knows something he shouldn't and isn't saying it.

"Ryouga, whether you like someone isn't important, what's important is to get along," Aunt Mirai says, in a voice that brooks no argument just out of how tired it sounds. "Take care of Rei like you used to take care of Rio, okay?"

Ryouga says nothing, but he thinks: _Rio isn't here_. She's still in Varian with Mother, because the big city is too complex an environment for a young girl. She has to stay where it's safe, at least for now, until Ryouga can make sure that there is a place in Heartland where she can be.

Shingetsu Rei doesn't need anything like that.

Rei's first day of school, one of the teachers says uncertainly that it is fine for Rei to still have imaginary friends at his age. He stares back at her and says, "Shining Rabbit is _right there._ "

So Ryouga gets used to doing homework sprawled out on a row of seats in the waiting area at Heartland Medical, and learns to spell 'early-onset schizophrenia' from Rei's doctor's notes.

 

* * *

 

 

The good news is that Rei responds well to treatment, and when Rei turns fourteen and Ryouga fifteen he walks out of Heartland Medical's psychiatry wing for what they hope is the last time. He'll be on medication for a long time, but more importantly he can handle himself well enough to go back to school, and that is more than good enough.

They're washing dishes and arguing as usual when Ryouga snaps out "you're on edge today, did you forget your meds or what..."

Rei stops. Looks Ryouga straight in the eye and says, "Yeah, I did."

" _What?_ "

"I forgot my meds."

"Then go take them?"

"No."

"What the hell do you mean no—"

For a long time Rei doesn't speak. "I can't do it, Ryouga."

"What," Ryouga repeats flatly.

"I can't do it. I can't spend three hours a week talking to doctors who don't listen, I can't spend my life in a haze not having control of what I think. Without the meds I can _function_ , I can actually go to school and I can take care of myself—" He stops to breathe, doesn't start again for a long time. "Yeah. The moment this gets out I'm finished, you know?"

 _This is bad._ "Rei. You need to—"

Rei goes dangerously still, and when he speaks again his voice is ice cold "I don't need to _anything_. Can you fucking _tell_ , Kamishiro Ryouga, if I hadn't told you? No? Then you know nobody will believe you." His voice takes on an edge. "And if you say a word, I'll make sure you regret it. Who the hell did your mother kill to be able to send you here, huh?"

" _No one_ ," Ryouga says. He hates the curl of his tongue around n's that betrays the accent he hasn't quite been able to drop. Rei speaks Standard perfectly. "You don't know anything. Shut the hell up about things you don't understand."

The corners of Rei's mouth quirk dangerously then. "Then you very well do the same thing, Kamishiro Ryouga."

 

* * *

 

 

In public Rei is deferential, with a knack for reading the atmosphere. He does well in school. He's smart. He gets math. He's good enough at code switching that no one can tell he spent the first twelve years of his life in a fringe province of Varian and not Heartland City.

And he hates Ryouga. Ryouga can't tell why. Maybe it's because he knows Rei's secret—knows why Rei has to ask someone to sharpen his pencils for him, how Rei spends two minutes covering his forearms with drugstore concealer before heading out to school. Maybe it's because he has seen Rei at his worst, maybe it's because he's the one who gets under Rei's skin.

Ryouga has never actually been _important_ to someone, but there is no satisfaction in this.

 

* * *

 

 

Thomas Arclight speaks perfect English and stunted Japanese, and arrives to school every morning in a sleek black car. His younger brother attends the feeder middle school, his older brother is a professor at the local university. They say he's stuck-up and a snob who's too good for everyone, and it's true—after he transferred here, even though it was the middle of the school year, he'd fallen in almost immediately with that lot. But Droite had looked over to where someone was waylaying him on the way to class and said, "You know, I kind of feel bad for him too."

Ryouga looks over to where Thomas is standing outside the ajar classroom door, continuing a conversation with the person hanging on his every word. He has the easy confidence of someone used to getting what he wants. Ryouga nods, and returns to tightening the strings on his guitar.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time Rei slips, Ryouga is home.

At the sound of something hitting the floor Ryouga runs to the kitchen, finds Rei curled up in a corner beside the stove, fruit knife trapped in one hand and a series of shallow cuts oozing blood in the other, Rei looks up; his face is ashen, his hands are shaking. "Ryouga, am I an abomination?"

A cold lump of ice forms in Ryouga's stomach as he thinks "yes" and says, "Don't say things like that."  He sits down slowly on the floor, reaches for the fruit knife. Rei lets him take it, lets Ryouga help him to his feet and walk him over to the sink.

"Stay right there." Ryouga goes to get the medicine kit; opens the bottle of antiseptic, holds Rei's arm over the sink and pours a generous amount over the wound. Rei hisses in pain, but Ryouga doesn't let go. _You chose this,_ he thinks fiercely. _You don't get to renege on that kind of choice, Rei._

"Are you going to do this again," Ryouga says.

 Rei replies "No", and holds the gauze in place as Ryouga wraps and tapes it.

That weekend Ryouga drags Rei to the second-hand clothing store for long-sleeved shirts. Rei sifts through the material and picks out two, then something dark and wool-lined and too heavy for the summer heat. "For winter," he says, and then crosses over to the accessory section and picks up several colors of wristbands.

 

* * *

 

 

People who don't belong need to stick together.

The other kids in Ryouga's year who came from Varian: Droite, who learned rhythm on the pails her grandmother put out to collect rain. Gilag, who had skipped church every week since he was seven to use the piano in the downstairs hall, and taught himself well enough to eventually become pianist at mass. Ryouga, who doesn't eat lunch on alternate days so he could save enough money to buy a guitar secondhand off a graduating senior, and practises in the fifth floor classrooms after afternoon classes and stashes the instrument in the band room before leaving school.

All of them from the Varian fringe, their futures bought by promises and hopes that none of them are sure they can live up to. Even here in Heartland City, he and Droite and Gilag are held back by many things: a spotty primary school education, lack of discipline, lack of home resources. They know they can't have the same dreams as the others, but music is the one thing they have in common, and it drew them together.

In the three hours between when school lets out and before the sun goes down, when the Seven Stars sit by the piano in the assembly hall and play the music they wrote together, Ryouga can begin to believe there's some kind of future for them in this place.

And then comes the day when Ryouga sings the last word, plays the last chord, and opens his eyes to Thomas Arclight leaning against the doorframe.

Blind panic. No one is supposed to know, no one is supposed to _hear—_

But Thomas Arclight doesn't sneer or laugh at them, just brings his hands together in a slow clap, and says, "You play well."

"Thank you," Droite says while Ryouga is still collecting himself.

It is the height of summer in Heartland City, but nothing fazes Ryouga that afternoon, not even the long walk back home over the ground still wet with the morning's rain, the air thick with 'summer heat and petrichor.

And then Ryouga unlatches the door and turns the key in the lock, and is immediately assaulted with the stench of blood.

In the kitchen, Rei, sitting on the floor by the sink, a fruit knife in his slack grip, blood over the blade. Red over the sink, the floor, his hands. At the sound of Ryouga's footsteps he looks up to meet Ryouga's eyes. "It's not mine,"  he says in a neutral voice.

Ryouga swears softly. Crosses the linoleum floor as calmly as he can, slides the knife out of Rei's hand; Rei lets him take it. Ryouga stands and drops it with a clatter on top of the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, then takes Rei's arm and helps him up, carefully holds Rei's forearms under the tap until the water runs clear. Turns Rei's wrists over and over in his own until he's sure that the lines on Rei's arms are old and not weeping.

There is also a dead chicken in the sink with its throat slit. So Rei wasn't lying. Not this time.

Rei waits for Ryouga to turn off the faucet, then tugs his hands free of Ryouga's, dries them and walks out of the kitchen like nothing happened at all. Ryouga doesn't follow him.

That night the slow electric fan does nothing to dispel the sweltering summer heat. Ryouga lies awake atop his thin mattress, sweat soaking into the sheets. On the other side of the room, the Rei's blanket steadily rises and falls as he sleeps. Ryouga doesn't know how he can sleep like that. Wrapped head to toe, in this sort of weather. Untroubled by conscience.

Then he thinks about Thomas Arclight again; tries to recall the way Thomas Arclight had looked at him earlier that day, the words Thomas said, and finds that he can't.

 

* * *

 

 

Thomas Arclight's presence becomes a regular occurrence at their weekly practice sessions, and one warm Thursday afternoon, as they're packing up, Ryouga steels himself and asks Thomas to join them.

Thomas says, "I thought you were doing it, Nasch, why?"

"We always wanted to find somebody for vocals, I was only standing in. And I'm asking you 'cause..."

('Cause you take private lessons in the high-end music place at the mall after school lets out, 'cause you're the first one to look at any of us and see potential instead of waste. 'Cause you don't belong here either, and you're actually fine with it.

And people who don't belong need to stick together.)

"—'cause my voice sucks and I don't wanna," Ryouga says with his heart in his mouth.

Thomas looks at each of them in turn, then says slowly, "Sure."

At practice the next day Ryouga opens his phone to _class ran overtime, gonna be late_ scrolling across the status bar alongside Thomas Arclight's number, and Droite has to tell him to wipe the stupid grin off his face.

 

* * *

 

 

Thomas is classically trained, but he doesn't like the way it makes his voice sound, and prefers to sing in a more pop-like style instead. He tries to show them to read music notation; Gilag learns quickly, and Ryouga picks up a little bit but he's still more comfortable with a numbered scale and an electronic guitar he can pitch however he wants.

Thomas convinces them to record properly, even reserves a room at his music school so they can do it. Ryouga picks the best song they have and Droite translates the lyrics; they spend three afternoons in the recording studio, enlist the help of a first-year called Takashi to sound engineer the accompaniment, then publish it anonymously on a music sharing platform.

To the surprise of everyone but Thomas, it racks up views at an alarming rate. "I might have linked it on my blog," Thomas says. None of them had known until now that he's a minor online celebrity.

Droite sets up a website and they follow _True North_ with two other songs, _Gravekeeper_ and _Leviathan_ , alongside a number of covers of currently charting pop songs. They pick monikers to answer messages with, and post candid photos of themselves in the recording studio after covering their faces with photo-app stickers.

Even now, it's too much to put themselves out there like that, in front of a city where there has never been a place for them.

Three months later, Mr. Heartland himself contacts "Dextra" with a proposal to the Seven Stars: to perform at the Heart Tower on Heartland Day. Droite forwards the email to all of them, then turns to Ryouga beside her and asks, "Is this really okay, Ryouga?"

Their university entrance examinations are a month after that, and they all know that they've neglected their studies for this music business more than they should have. In Varian, people do not have opportunities. Each of them was given a chance at a different and brighter future, and to fritter it on something like this—

That day, Thomas Arclight had stood in the doorway of the assembly hall. He had listened to their music, and applauded them at the end. In all of Heartland City, only he had seen potential instead of waste.

Ryouga says, "It's okay," as much to reassure himself as her. He needs this. They all need this.

Two days later, Droite writes back on behalf of all of them, agreeing on condition of absolute secrecy.  
  


* * *

 

A month before Heartland Day they arrive at the venue at their assigned time to practice; set up their equipment and check in with the AV crew, then look out over the the big and empty auditorium. Thomas tests the microphones, says the acoustics will be different when the audience stand is filled.

In a month, all of Heartland City will hear them, but will not see their faces. Ryouga's words, translated by Droite, spoken by Thomas, sound at once familiar and completely foreign in the empty space.

They practice well into the night, and by the time Ryouga gets home that evening the lights in the living room are already off. Ryouga he tries to unlock the door quietly so as not to wake Rei, then decides he doesn't care. That guy can sleep through anything.

In their shared room Rei throws a hand over his eyes and grumbles something about the light. Ryouga turns it off, and can't even be irritated.

 

* * *

 

One day after school Ryouga turns the key in the door and pushes it open, and is met with one hand fisted in his shirt at the collar and the other pressing a straight razor into the hollow of his throat. Wide eyes search his face as Rei says softly, "You know, you really piss me off, Nasch."

That's no surprise.

The death threat, on the other hand.

Outside the window, the loud honk of the garbage truck. Rei glances away for a second and Ryouga goes right for the razor, knocks out of Rei's hand and lets it clatter to the floor. He twists out from under Rei's hands and slams Rei's face into the wall, pins Rei's other hand to the small of his back. "Try that again and I'll kill you, I swear," Ryouga says, but he can't quite keep the tremor out of his voice.

Ryouga kicks the razor into the corner, realizes too late he'd gambled his life on the hunch that Rei would be caught off guard, that Rei hasn't been practising this on small animals in the apartment gardens. He doesn't think he has. But with Shingetsu Rei you never know.

Now Rei's eyes narrow; he wrenches himself free of Ryouga's grip, but he doesn't go for the knife or do anything else, just stands frozen in the same position Ryouga left him. Ryouga slowly backs away, walks over to the corner to retrieve the razor. "I know you didn't mean it, so I won't tell anyone. Take your goddamn meds. And I'm keeping this."

Ryouga unhooks the blade from the handle and snaps the piece of metal in two, wraps it in paper, then goes outside and tosses everything into the trash compactor. But he knows that Rei can do a lot of things if he puts his mind to it, and nothing so insignificant like the loss of one blade will do anything to stop him.

 

* * *

 

 

On the university planning forms, Ryouga ticks the boxes for business and economics. Rei is flying out to interview at places Ryouga's never even heard of before. Gilag confides that he's going to run off to join the military, and Droite is trying to get into pharmacy school in Sparta City.

He peers over at Thomas' own form, where only the box for 'musician' is checked.

Later as they walk to the train station after school, Thomas says, "You know, after we all leave school, are we going to keep doing this?"

Ryouga realizes that they have never really talked about this: what happens after they graduate.  Aside from Thomas, none of them really believe that they can have a future like this. Ryouga remembers his mother saying _Always think about what happens next,_ knows that Droite and Gilag have heard the same thing. _Something like entertainment is too uncertain,_ and no matter how much Ryouga wants to—

_'cause you're the first one to look at any of us and see potential instead of waste._

_"—you're good at this."_

—it won't last. It can't. Nothing does. So Ryouga explains, in the most neutral words he can find, that he's quitting the band after the school year ends.

Thomas' next words are quiet. "What happened to following the first star you see in the sky?"

Ryouga recognizes the lyrics _._ He thinks, he's not sure Thomas knows what it means. Then he kicks himself for thinking it. "Maybe it fell," Ryouga replies.

Thomas shakes his head. "You know, Ryouga, you're very cryptic sometimes. Maybe it's a writer thing—"

 _No, it's a Varian thing_ , Ryouga thinks, as Thomas steps to one side so they're not obstructing the entrance to the train station.

"—but you're my friend, and I care. This is important to you, so why're you giving it up like that? No pressure. Only if you want to tell me."

"It's fine. It's just a long story," Ryouga says. _Also, since when do you use my birth name?_

"I got time. Ice cream?"

 

 

For the first twelve years of their lives, the Kamishiro twins knew nothing about their father except his family name. When Ryouga was twelve, that person wrote to say that that he's willing to acknowledge Ryouga and support their family—on the condition that Ryouga moves to Heartland City and uses the opportunities and resources here to build a respectable life, and severs ties with his hometown. It's not unusual in Varian for parents to do that—send their children to the city in the hopes of a better life. That person will cover the cost of moving, and Ryouga's living expenses henceforth, and will support Rio and their mother as well for as long as Ryouga keeps his end of the bargain.

This offer did not extend to Rio, and even if it had, Mother would not have let Rio go.  Heartland City, she says, is too complex an environment for a young girl. Mother says that later, when Rio has finished her schooling, she can decide for herself where she wants to go. But not right now.

Ryouga has to fulfil his part of the agreement, in order to ensure that his mother and sister will be taken care of. Those who are fortunate enough to be sent here cannot squander their chance on something as capricious as a childhood dream. It is their responsibility to do well, and make a good life for themselves, and set the example for others to follow.

Thomas has listened intently, and now he steeples his fingers. "So you're scared we won't make it?"

Piety probably means very little to someone like Thomas, who has grown up with choices and opportunities and who was encouraged to pursue anything he liked. Ryouga has always known this, but now the difference between them is more vast than ever. "No. It's not that..."

"Isn't it, Ryouga?" It would have been better if Thomas was angry. He should be angry. But instead he goes silent, and gets this shuttered expression on his face and says "I understand."

"Thomas—"

"No, I understand. If that's what you have to do, then it's what you have to do. But we're still gonna play at the Heart Tower next week, right?"

Ryouga nods. "Of course."

Somehow, this is worse.

 

* * *

 

 

The most important day of his life.

Thomas puts a hand on his shoulder and asks, "You okay, Nasch?"

Something in Ryouga's throat keeps him from speaking, so he nods instead. Looks around at his friends, unrecognizable behind their stage makeup. At the beginning, none of them ever imagined standing onstage, playing the songs they wrote in the assembly hall after school to all of Heartland City. It still feels very much like a dream.

And then the lights, the crowd, the speakers booming out their music throughout the auditorium. Ryouga's fingers tighten on the neck of his guitar, sharp wooden lines cutting into his palm; it's all too much, and Ryouga forces himself to a point of stillness. Narrows his field of focus until the auditorium and the raucous crowd fall away from his sight and all he can see is Thomas, all he can feel are the strings cutting into his fingers as he plays. Before him the blinding strobe of spotlights; IV's voice, muted through the foam wads in his ears. The sound vibrations from Droite's drums shake him to the core.

The sound has died down and Thomas is saying something.

"—Shark, the one who wrote these songs and these words. I want to thank you. For making the Seven Stars possible, and for being my friend."

He holds the microphone out and Ryouga is too stunned to say anything more than "You too, IV."

The spotlights blind Ryouga so he cannot see the faces of the cheering crowd. Beside him Thomas turns back to the audience; grasps the microphone and Ryouga's hand and whispers, voice amplified thousandfold in the surround sound, "Please, always remember the way you feel tonight."

Ryouga thinks that he always will.

Later Droite and Gilag share a cab home and Thomas gives Ryouga a ride, straps Ryouga's guitar to the back of his motorbike. The night wind ruffles the hem of Ryouga's jacket, sweeps his hair from his face as he hangs on to Thomas for dear life, his friend's body solid and warm in the Heartland City night.

_Always remember the way you feel tonight._

This is the most important day of his life.

This was the most important day of his life, but the dizzying euphoria falls away like a curtain of water as he gets off Thomas' bike and climbs the stairs to apartment 3-2 and sees with a sinking feeling that the lights in the living room are still on, soft white filtering out from under the door.

Ryouga unlocks the door and pushes it open.

"Where were you," Aunt Mirai asks from where she is sitting on the couch. Behind her, the wall clock reads 1:35 a.m.

".... studying," Ryouga replies without meeting her eyes, terribly aware of the eyeliner still smeared over his face, the glitter in his hair. He drags a sleeve across his face in a futile effort to get rid of some of it, and his white sleeve comes away streaked with grey.

He doesn't know if it's worse that Aunt Mirai reprimands him, or gives him up as a lost cause.

On the couch, Rei looks up from the book he hadn't been reading, and sneers.

 

* * *

 

 

They day the high school seniors' examinations end, Ryouga heads to the school gates where Thomas and Droite are already waiting. But as Thomas waves to them, Ryouga's phone buzzes.

"Ryouga." Rei's voice over the telephone, strained. "I need your help."

For one very awful moment, Ryouga considers hanging up. He can press the end call button and switch off his phone, and turn to Thomas and the others with a smile like it never happened.

He tightens his grip on his phone. "Sorry, something came up and I have to..."

"What is it, Nasch?"

"—I'll explain later, but I have to go now. I'm really sorry. Bye," he says, and turns resolutely and heads in the other direction before he can change his mind.

  


The map screenshot Rei sent shows a street of shophouses in the run-down part of downtown. Ryouga catches a cab to a nearby area, then runs the rest of the five blocks until he finds Rei.

Rei is getting heckled by a tall guy with tattoos over half his face. To one side, sunlight glints off Rei's phone and pocketknife, both kicked out of his reach. Ryouga stands still for a minute. Neither of them seem to have noticed him.

Ryouga waits for an opening, then tackles the guy from behind; throws the guy with with his whole weight to the ground, scrambles to find anything he can use as leverage. Finds his keys still clipped to his pocket, rolls over and lashes out as hard as he can.

Beneath him a loud cry of pain, and Ryouga looks down to see his keyring, the bottle opener in the shape of a shar, now embedded half an inch into the boy's shoulder. He rips the metal free, fingers slipping on the gathering blood; gets up and stamps once on the back of the guy's knee, then turns and grabs Rei's wrist and runs.

He runs as fast and as hard as he can out out of Don K's turf, skids round a corner out of the alleyway and back onto the main street. They catch the bus just pulling into the station and ride it back to the fringes of Heartland downtown; as the bus pulls into the station Ryoga discreetly unhooks his keyring and deposits it in the trash bin by the shelter. They cross the junction and walk another two blocks, into the business district where office workers are just getting back from lunch break. The sun's glare reflecting off glass buildings is blinding.

Ryouga drags Rei into the nearest building and into the men's room on the first floor; the bathroom is deserted, floors and walls white and pristine. Rei's still panicking, drawing shallow breaths, no color in his face. Ryouga drops to the ground and wraps himself around Rei as tightly as he can, shuts out the light and sound and holds Rei until his breathing evens and he shoves at Ryouga to let go.

Ryouga pries his shirt out of Rei's deathgrip and holds him at arm's length, takes a good look at his face. "Are you okay?"

Rei nods, pale as a sheet. "You should have left me there."

Ryouga snaps. "No. No. Idiot. You're scum that doesn't deserve to be stepped on and I don't know who I killed in my past life to get landed with you with but you do _not_ run off and look for your own death, do you understand?"

 "I didn't think you cared," Rei bites out.

_Then why did you ask me to go find you?_

Rei is only vicious when he's scared. Ryouga is not sure why he knows that.

Ryouga stands up and turns on the faucet to wash his hands, scrubs until there are no traces of dirt or blood left under his fingernails.

He still remembers that woman who took his hand and said, _Take care of Rei, will you?_

If it were up to Ryouga, he would just have left Rei to bleed out on the kitchen floor that day, and save them both and the world all the trouble. But it's not up to him. Because—

"I promised." Ryouga says quietly. "So now, you're my responsibility."

Rei says nothing.

"Are they going to come after you again?"

"I don't think so. That guy had a grudge."

Ryouga almost asks what for, then thinks he's better off not knowing. He nods. "Okay. Then let's go."

"... I have one test left today," Rei says. He isn't looking at Ryouga. "1:30pm."

"Call the school and ask to reschedule."

"No, I can write it."

Ryouga checks his watch: 12:58 pm. "You sure?"

Rei meets Ryouga's eyes and nods. "Yeah."

"Then let's go."

Rei nods, gets to his feet and straightens his uniform, and Ryouga follows suit. They haven't walked side by side since they were both thirteen, but they quickly fall in step. They have just over twenty-five minutes to make it to the testing center and when they get there, Ryouga knows that Rei will do just fine.

 

* * *

 

 

On Ryouga and Gilag's graduation day Thomas comes to congratulate them, then catches sight of Ryouga's face and asks if everything's okay. Rei had left the house early that day and Ryouga hadn't been able to think about anything but the colour of blood on a linoleum floor, the pounding in his head from sleeping badly under the lights in a hospital waiting room till morning.

Ryouga waves it away, brings the conversation round to the contract Thomas is signing with Faker Entertainment. He's grateful when they have to head separate ways; the seating chart is alphabetical by last name.

Rei doesn't show up, and the emcee reads the long list of his accolades to an empty stage.

 

* * *

 

 

Rei got a full-ride scholarship to Sargasso, one of those elite universities in the capital city that everyone wants to get into. Aunt Mirai says she knows people in the area and can help him settle in, but Rei says he has friends there who will help him with arrangements, and she leaves him be.

Ryouga is actually not quite sure exactly when Rei left. One day he returned home and Rei's side of the house was stripped bare, nothing there to indicate anyone had ever lived there. In some twisted way, it's for the best. Ryouga doesn't know what he would have done or said anyway.

Aunt Mirai tells Ryouga that the day Rei turned seventeen, she turned over the small amount of money remaining from the expenses Rei's mother paid regularly when she sent him here. "I don't want to say this, Ryouga, but someone like that—it's really better to let him go."

Ryouga's own grades were just good enough to make the cut at Heartland University. He puts in an application to board there, then moves out of his current house at the end of summer. At Heartland U, he throws himself fully into classes and clubs. Without music or Rei there to distract him, he works harder than he ever has. He does fairly well. He thinks: he can do this.

Thomas writes him sometimes, more often than he expected and less often than he would like. That guy is doing fine on his own; he's tried singing with a few groups with Faker Records, but none of them are really the way the Seven Stars used to be. He says he might go solo from here on. Ryouga assures him he has enough charm to carry it.

_Always remember the way you feel tonight._

Already, those three years seem very much like a dream.

 

* * *

 

Halfway through his second year at Heartland U, Ryouga gets word of Rio's university entrance exam scores. She wants to go to Heartland eventually too, but was only accepted to school at neighbouring Sparta City. Even so, there are many Heartlands in the world, and Rio is someone who will make her own way, no matter where she is.

Gilag has finished basic training, but is staying where he is until he figures out what to do with his life. Droite had picked up a part-time job in order to pay for school, and only writes infrequently. Thomas is making a name on his own now, and few people remember that he once belonged to that high school band that came and went like a supernova.

As for Rei-- _Vector-_ \- Ryouga hasn't heard anything. At first, Ryouga is determined not to be the first to initiate contact. But he does search that guy's name, one afternoon in business ethics class when his group has finished their presentation and there is nothing better to do.

It turns up an ordinary-looking social media page. Vector's profile picture is himself with a crowd of people at a of sports game. His eyes are narrowed against the sun high in the sky, and he's smiling at something just outside the camera frame. If Ryouga didn't know him, it would have looked like just another profile of a bright and motivated university student.

There's not a single person on his friends list from Heartland City.

_—Stop running, Rei._

Ryouga sends a friend request and closes the window.

 

 


End file.
